Posts Tagged ‘City’
Kolo Toure: Slimming Pills Should Mean a Long Ban
So, Arsene Wenger has come out to suggest that Kolo Toure has a weight problem, and because of this, he has taken one of his wives diet pills. To me, that sounds like the use of a banned substance to gain a sporting advantage, and should be treated as such. It should not matter if the drug being tested for is a “steroid” or “just a slimming pill” or whatever.
If a footballer struggles with their weight, then they are not going to be as fast or fit as an opponent with all of the same physical attributes otherwise, but who is a stone lighter. Kolo Toure knows this. That is why he has taken his wives slimming pills. This is seeking to gain an advantage from the use of a banned substance. As such, he should be handed the maximum penalty.
If this were athletics, or cycling, Toure would be in hot water, with life bans available for offenders. Instead, football has set a precedent for handing down warnings and slaps on the wrist for anyone except Manchester United players. If the FA wish promote an image as impartial, then they need to throw the book at Toure.
The worry is that they won’t. They will spin some PC bullshit about being “sensitive to the pressures” which may lead a footballer to take drugs, and give him a short ban and small fine. Four weeks is doing the rounds as a possibility? That HAS to be some sort of sick joke at Rio Ferdinand’s expense.
Just you wait. I know we sound like dippers going on and on about the past, but in this case, it’s absolutely relevant. Of course, the FA will claim that “circumstances were different” and that they treat each incident on a “case by case basis”.
Who’s Bid E35m for Alexis Sanchez?
Udinese have confirmed that someone has bid E35m for their main man, Alexis Sanchez, who scored four goals away to Palermo at the weekend and is pretty awesome otherwise.
There are, as yet, no clues as to the identity of the bidder, but Manchester United are known to be long-term admirers of Sanchez, so could it be us? Who else could be bidding, and could afford to pay the dough?
Theory 1 – It’s Us
The most palatable of the possibilities is that Sir Alex Ferguson has decided he wants Sanchez and, as is his wont, is seeking to get the deal wrapped up early so that we’re not drawn into some bidding war at the 11th hour, only to lose and not have time to sign anyone else.
I’d love this because I fucking love Alexis Sanchez. I make no secret of the fact that I think he’s brilliant to watch and devastating on his day. Much like Ronaldo’s after the summer of 2006, his days are now becoming more and more frequent. He’s an absolute matchwinner.
Do we need him? The evidence would suggest so. Nani and Valencia are our only two options out wide, and athough the two are both brilliant, when one breaks down we have to make wholesale changes to our system to accomodate a more defensive outlet. Signing Sanchez would allow us to be more fluid when one of the two are out.
Where does he fit long-term? Well, Rooney is becomming a bigger dick by the day, and Berbatov, as brilliant as he is, is the wrong side of 30, so I imagine he will end up replacing one of these two, as you don’t want to waste a player as gifted as Sanchez on the wing. If we reverted to a 4-2-3-1 formation, as we have tinkered with in the past, he would play in the middle of the three.
Theory 2 – It’s Chelsea
If those fucking rent boys whip out their chequebook and sign one more top class player that I want, then I will seriously rampage down the Kings Road with a Kalashnikov shooting indiscriminately at passers by. It’s been beyond a joke since they got Joe Cole and Michael Essien.
Unfortunately, with Florent Malouda seemingly on the way down, it’s likely that they’ll need Sanchez to fill that gap. Drogba and Anelka will both be gone within two seasons, meaning Chelsea will have Torres and Kalou as striking options. Hardly devastating. They will stick Sanchez on the left, probably have Neymar or some shit to play on the right… It’s possible.
Theory 3 – It’s Man City
Just don’t.
Theory 4 – It’s Real Madrid or Barcelona
Tenuous press reports about that his agent has confirmed that it’s a La Liga club that have bid. If so, boo, but who would go in for him? Valencia don’t have that sort of money, meaning it could only realistically be Barca or the Virus.
Barca have a very settled front three – witness the fate of January signing Affelay to see what happens when you try to break it up – and I can’t see them wanting to strengthen there. If I was Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola, I would be sitting on my arse in my gold-plated chair, smoking cigars and watching repeats of the A-Team, because they need to do absolutely nothing to improve that team.
Do the Virus really need Sanchez? Don’t they have enough forwards already? I’m sure they’re not planning on selling Ronaldo, so where would this leave the impressive Meszut Ozil? That said, transfer policy at the Bernabeu never makes much sense, so he could well be on his way there.
The dark horse here is Villareal. They’re doing very will this season, have Champions League money to spend, and could do with a bit of stardust in their side. Alexis Sanchez would represent a majour coup for them.
Theory 5 – Nobody has bid yet but Udinese want a bidding war
Udinese may have decided to cash in on their star man in the summer, but want to get the best price possible. So why not say that “Someone has offered Exxm for him” and wait for Chelsea, Man City and Real Madrid to start making silly offers.
It makes sense. It’s what I’d do if I were Udinese manager.
Quiz: Can You Name the Teams Who Have Won a Trophy Since City?
Since Manchester City last won a piece of silverware, 23 other teams have tasted glory. Some, such as Manchester United and Arsenal, have won many, others have won just one trophy.
Thanks to this brilliant Sporcle quiz, you can test your knowledge on Manchester City’s drought. I got 22, missing only the most missed answer. 2.4% of people did not put Man United, the lowest wrong answer percentage in the quiz, although the results are obviously skewed by the nature of this quiz’s target audience.
Can you beat my score and get all 23?
Deluded Toure: City Could Be Better Than Barcelona
There seems to be no end to the drivel that spews forth from the collective mouth of Manchester City’s merry band of mercenaries.
It’s not long since Edin Dzeko claimed that everyone in Manchester supports City, but now Yaya Toure has seen fit to claim that Man City could become the best side in the world. Yaya gushed the following to The Sun;
“In a couple of years we could be better than Barcelona. What we need to do is continue to work hard and improve with every game. I keep saying to my brother Kolo and my family that City have great players but we need to continue to work hard to become great.”
I actually agree with Yaya. They could be better than Barcelona. It’s certainly possible, in a kind of metaphysical think-of-all-the-things-that-are-possible way. But they won’t be. Not even close. Barcelona are the greatest club side of our generation, and Manchester City are nouveau riche Johnny-come-lateleys with no tradition.
Toure, who should know better having spent three years at the Nou Camp, is currently the highest paid player at Eastlands. To add a bit more of a realistic perspective to things…
“Our target is still to be in the Champions League next year – that is very important for this club. But it will be tough to stay in there because Liverpool are coming and I’m sure Chelsea will be back.”
Today – battling two averagely good sides for the fourth Champions League spot. Tomorrow – the world!
After The Manchester Derby
I must have missed the part where Wayne Rooney made a grovelling apology for his transfer request without blaming someone else. I must have missed the months of stellar form in the lead-up to yesterday’s game. I must have been fast asleep and dreaming when he said that he was leaving for a club with ambition and that Fergie had lied about his injury, and I must be stupid, a cunt and “not a true fan”. Read the rest of this entry »
Badge Kissing Troll : Nobody Loves City More Than Me
Carlos Tevez has professed his love for Manchester City, presumably in Spanish, claiming that “nobody loves the shirt more than me”.
Of course, Tevez is a serial badge-kisser, having puckered up to the shirts of Boca, Corinthians, West Ham and United before embarking on his current affair with City. Read the rest of this entry »
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